Campus Log - Chapter 62

“Everyone studies on their own terms, that’s all.”

Ryu Eun-seok’s firm answer cut off the suspicious imaginations that might have been budding in the juniors’ minds.

“Why don’t we each do our own thing now, too.”

The warmth that had been in the man’s voice just moments ago was nowhere to be found. Lee Dong-ha couldn’t even answer and sat up straight, closing his mouth. Kwon Ga-ram also stopped pouring out questions.

Only when silence finally settled did I realize that our area had been too loud. Even though it was an empty classroom, it was exam period, so everyone was maintaining silence implicitly. That must be why Ryu Eun-seok had signaled to the juniors.

Probably. It’s a place for studying, so it should be quiet. There couldn’t be any other reason for drawing such a clear line.

Instead of digging deeper, I put my earphones in and blocked off any possibility of further conversation.

Two hours later, I packed my bag and stood up to go to my next class. Until then, Ryu Eun-seok hadn’t budged from his spot, tapping away on his calculator.

Lee Dong-ha hurriedly followed me out. Seeing that he wasn’t wearing his bag, it seemed he wasn’t going to class but had something to say to me. I stopped walking and turned to look at the junior.

“What?”

“Oh, it’s nothing else…”

Lee Dong-ha fidgeted with the hair at his temple and couldn’t quite meet my eyes. I could roughly guess what he was going to say.

“I’d like to buy you a meal after exams are over.”

When I just stood there silently without saying anything, Lee Dong-ha’s focus fluttered nervously.

“I’m grateful for what you did during the sports day, and also, well, it’s almost vacation. I feel like I shouldn’t put it off any longer. Because once you go back to your hometown, it’ll be hard to see you…”

The longer he spoke, the paler Lee Dong-ha’s face gradually turned red. His gently drooping eyes darted busily—toward me, then out the window, then back again.

Often, non-verbal cues are more accurate than direct words. The direction of one’s gaze, the speed of breathing, the number of hand gestures, the distance the other person maintains with me.

Putting it all together, Lee Dong-ha clearly had feelings for me. Whether those feelings were shallow or deep wasn’t very important. Only the distinction between like and dislike matters.

Just then, Ryu Eun-seok and Kwon Ga-ram came out side by side through the back door of the classroom. The female junior was holding the male senior’s elbow and chattering away about something.

Inside, my stomach churned noisily once again.

I know it. My feelings toward Ryu Eun-seok belong to the former category—like. As time passed, they were moving away from cheap sympathy or petty superiority and becoming more intricately entangled.

If I let things continue like this, my state would likely become no different from Kwon Ga-ram’s. I could clearly see my future: falling for the prince who had made the business building his castle, and wasting my time keeping an eye on the women who approached him with fire in their eyes.

In fact, it was already close to being a current reality.

The only person I could call a friend was Ryu Eun-seok, but around him, countless bees came flying. I would ruminate on that difference and slowly eat away at myself.

That’s why yesterday, just because Ryu Eun-seok showed a slightly cold face, the peace inside me shattered immediately. I couldn’t concentrate on studying, and it took quite a long time to fall asleep.

Before it got worse, I needed to scatter some of the nerves that were focused solely on that guy. Right now, because I had gained a new close acquaintance after a long time, I wasn’t able to maintain appropriate boundaries.

Enough that I had openly poured out my true feelings without shame—about how I was just pretending to be tough, and all that. Enough that whenever I saw Ryu Eun-seok with another girl, I had the shameless delusion that something of mine had been taken away.

If this kept happening, I’d rather increase the number of people as close to me as Ryu Eun-seok. That would make it easier to draw clear emotional boundaries.

Sorry to Lee Dong-ha, but I had always been this calculating by nature.