Campus Log - Chapter 63

“Okay.”

At my answer, which came out after a long deliberation, Lee Dong-ha’s eyes went round. At the same time, Ryu Eun-seok’s gaze flew over here as well.

“Oh, really? Then when do your exams end?”

“On the 20th, at eleven.”

“Then shall we have lunch then?”

“Okay.”

“Great! I’ll contact you later!”

Lee Dong-ha, his face beaming with a smile, returned to the classroom. As the junior who had been standing between us disappeared, my eyes met Ryu Eun-seok’s in a straight line from where he remained behind.

He shook off Kwon Ga-ram’s touch and walked toward me, his eyes curving gracefully.

“You’re eating with Jae?”

I didn’t want to closely examine what Ryu Eun-seok’s expression was. To do that, I would have to look him in the eye first, but rather than that, I felt like my impure intentions for deciding to eat with Lee Dong-ha would be exposed.

“Yeah. He said he’s thankful for my help during the relay race.”

“Don’t you find Lee Dong-ha annoying?”

A crooked question came out of Ryu Eun-seok.

“What do you mean by that?”

“You find everyone annoying.”

There was a cold temperature in every word the man said.

“Considering you told me to sit three seats away when eating with you.”

Lately, we had often been eating dinner facing each other in the dormitory cafeteria, but that point wasn’t mentioned at all…

“I guess I needed some kind of excuse like repaying a favor too.”

Ryu Eun-seok was pushing me with thorny words.

“But I guess I was the only one you found annoying.”

It was a clear attack. It showed his intention to get on my nerves as much as his own pride had been hurt.

My eyes passed over his shoulder and reached Kwon Ga-ram, who was still standing there looking this way. The girl looked upset at being excluded by herself, didn’t know what to do about Ryu Eun-seok’s cold attitude, and was gauging how she might interject.

My face right now was probably just as complicated as Kwon Ga-ram’s.

The self-disgust of finally having someone I could call a “friend” after a long time, yet absurdly feeling something like possessiveness, and then the discomfort of using another person who had feelings for me—along with the disappointment toward Ryu Eun-seok for not understanding my feelings—all of it was tangled together and covering my face.

“Sorry if it seemed like I was playing favorites. I didn’t think of that.”

I offered an apology cleanly. But perhaps this wasn’t what he wanted to hear, as an unpleasant crack formed on Ryu Eun-seok’s face.

“But isn’t it a bit much for you to meddle in who I eat with?”

I turned away without saying goodbye. And the moment I pivoted on my heel, I regretted it. I wasn’t happy with any of it—neither accepting Lee Dong-ha’s offer, nor making snide remarks to Ryu Eun-seok.

In just a few days, frightened by my own fluctuating emotions, I had ended up sharpening my edges.

Ryu Eun-seok had only been kind to everyone as he always was, yet I alone was having a terrible time—my heart swelling, then being on guard, then pulling back.

So from his perspective, he must be bewildered. After gladly accepting the doll and the cake, now I was pushing him away, telling him not to meddle…

We hadn’t even properly acknowledged each other today because we had slightly bothered each other’s feelings yesterday, even though I had received so many things from him. Realizing my two-faced attitude left a bitter taste in my mouth.

There was a persistent gaze following the back of my head. Because of it, every step I took made me self-conscious. I kept wanting to turn my head, curious about what kind of eyes Ryu Eun-seok was staring at my retreating figure with. Only after I held back and hid myself below the stairs did my breathing ease.

The time we had shared fresh cream cake under the acacia tree already felt like a distant past.