Chapter 64
The final exams didn’t go badly.
Considering that I chose to study in the cramped dorm room to avoid the now-awkward Ryu Eunseok, I could say my concentration was better than expected.
Especially whenever I saw the oversized panda plush guarding the head of my bed, my chest would feel tight. Each time that happened, inside my head, the theories I had to memorize and the fleeting image of Ryu Eunseok that crossed my mind throughout the day would fiercely clash.
On top of that, every time I walked around carrying a bag with a dangling panda keyring, it felt as if a heavy stone was resting on my shoulders.
Despite those unfavorable conditions, I managed to write my answers without hesitating on a single question, so I deserved to praise myself greatly.
At noon on the 20th, the day of the promised meeting, Lee Dongha suggested we go eat pasta, but I chose jjimdak instead. I wanted to avoid anything that felt like a blind date and keep it simply as a friendly gathering between senior and junior.
“Ah, while writing the answer for the last question in International Business Strategy, I thought my arm was going to fall off.”
Lee Dongha whined as he scooped some jjimdak onto my plate.
“Even I think it’s nonsense, so to the professor it’ll probably look like nuclear waste, right? I feel like I’ll lose more points because they can’t even read my handwriting.”
“Everyone else is probably the same.”
That was the best comfort I could offer. In the first place, I had never experienced writing nonsense on an exam, so I couldn’t really empathize.
“I seriously wanted to give up and leave midway, but everyone was sitting there writing so hard. If you’re the first one to leave in that situation, it feels awkward, you know? But then Eunseok hyung left after about 30 minutes, so I handed mine in second and came out too.”
At the sudden mention of an uncomfortable name, I hurriedly swallowed the chicken in my mouth. I had been casually responding to Dongha’s complaints until just now, but hearing that Ryu Eunseok was the first to hand in his paper made a quiet worry creep in.
Did he give up because the exam was too hard? No, maybe he just studied well. Why am I even worrying about something like that?
After all, I was the one who had snapped at him for meddling in whether I ate with other people, so it was ridiculous for me to care whether he finished his exam early or not.
“Sunbae, are you going to the end-of-semester gathering today?”
“No.”
It was an event that had never existed in my college life, not even once. I didn’t go to MTs or even the beginning-of-semester gatherings, so someone whose only wish was to go home as soon as vacation started wouldn’t have the leisure to show up at something like that—There wasn’t.
And the biggest problem was that at those kinds of gatherings, people sat in their own groups—and I didn’t have any group I could really call my own.
“If you’re not going home right away today, you should stop by. Hyeokjun sometimes talks about you too, sunbae.”
“About what?”
“He said that at the sports festival after-party, Kim Do-wan hyung went a bit overboard. Hyeokjun still feels really sorry about that. He told me to make sure to bring you this time since that hyung isn’t coming.”
Even with the assurance that Kim Do-wan wouldn’t be there, I still wasn’t interested. More than the senior who had forced soju on me, what bothered me more was whether Ryu Eunseok would attend.
If Eunseok came, the whole place would feel unbearably uncomfortable; if he didn’t, I’d end up wondering why he wasn’t there and wouldn’t even know whether the alcohol was going down my nose or my mouth.
“You have to move out of the dorm today?”
“No, I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“Then just think of it as dinner and come. I’m really sure Kim Do-wan hyung won’t be there.”
“I’ll think about it.”
I gave a vague answer and focused on eating. My appetite had completely disappeared because of the swarm of worries buzzing in my head like summer night insects. Still, since it was a meal my junior was treating me to, I couldn’t leave it unfinished, so I kept moving my chopsticks diligently.
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