Chapter 202
“Hah…”
His usually alluringly red lips were now ashen and pale. Even as he exhaled a sigh, no breath escaped them. His body was likely frozen solid. The tips of his fingers, where his nails had fallen out, were dark with fresh wounds that hadn’t even formed scabs yet.
Even now, he was still working, pressing solid stones into the earth to prevent the gravestones from falling under the weight of the rain. The cold, ice-like rain had clearly soaked him through, and the wound on his cheek from when Ivonne had slapped him was swollen and white.
‘What the hell is he doing here?’
It was only then that Ivonne noticed Herix was saying something. Despite the cold air, his lips didn’t produce even the slightest breath, making it difficult for her to hear. Water droplets clung to his lips as they opened and closed intermittently, and she could see them forming and falling.
Without realizing it, Ivonne’s focus shifted to his lips.
“…rry.”
She couldn’t even hear the whisper, but Ivonne concentrated harder. She wanted to read the shapes of his lips in the misty rain, as the droplets gathered and blurred his words.
Finally, despite the dark, gloomy cemetery, Ivonne’s bright green eyes caught the shape of his muttered words.
“Sorry…”
“…!”
“I was wrong…”
It was an apology. Herix was continuously asking for forgiveness. It wasn’t clear who he was speaking to.
Was it to Blitzen, whom he had killed and buried here? Or was it to Ivonne, who he had betrayed by taking her beloved husband away? Perhaps it was both of them, or even for reasons beyond that. But what mattered now was that he was relentlessly seeking atonement.
What a foolish, tactless man.
That thought crossed Ivonne’s mind first.
‘Who wants this? Who asked for this nonsense?’
While she was silently muttering in contempt, Ivonne suddenly opened her mouth in a daze. In that instant, it hit her like a flash of light. The atonement Herix was doing was not because anyone had ordered him to, but because he had chosen it for himself.
Having lived like a beast, unaware of right from wrong, he was now repenting of his sins on his own.
“I was wrong…”
The sound was still absent. Only the shape of his lips was visible, and now he whispered as if it had become a ritual, a constant mantra of atonement over the past week. He had been tirelessly repenting alone, in this cemetery where everyone had left him, standing by the graveside.
“Ugh.”
For a moment, Ivonne felt as though something sharp and thin had pierced her chest. She instinctively pressed her hand to her heart. The pain, which had been gnawing at her like thorns wrapped around her chest, grew stronger with each beat.
Hot water streamed down her face.
‘Huh…?’
She had clearly used magic to block even a drop of the cold rain from reaching her, so how was it that the water was still coming through?
‘Where is this water coming from…?’
Ivonne, still pressing her chest, traced the water droplets that had gathered at her chin. As the warm stream flowed down, she followed it with her fingertips, leading her to her eyes.
“Ah…”
The warm water soaking her face was none other than Ivonne’s own tears.
“…Hah.”
A deep sigh escaped her. Her hand, which had been tracing her eyes, suddenly clenched into a fist. The tension in her hand was so intense that her knuckles turned white.
Herix was still standing by the grave. But why did his massive form seem so small now? Why was he shouldering all of the rain, like blades falling from the sky, alone?
‘And all of this in a place where no one sees, where no one knows…!’
Why was she so angry? Why did it hurt so much? Why did it feel like her chest was being torn apart? And yet, why did she feel this strange sense of… relief?
“Idiot!”
Ivonne shouted. Her voice, louder than expected, startled even herself, like a lion’s roar.
“Why are you doing this here?”
Herix, as though burned, quickly turned to look at her. The muscles in his neck, frozen like ice, twitched in surprise. That sight, too, caused her pain.
“If you’re going to apologize, do it where I can see it, do it to me! Blitzen is dead, and you’re here, doing this…!”
She stopped, overwhelmed with emotion. She had struggled so much with Blitzen’s death, unable to let go of him, unable to move forward. Wasn’t that Ivonne, after all?
“You… idiot. You… you… fool! Stupid, imbecile, moron!”
She shouted raw, hateful words. They were words she, as a commoner, should never have said to a Crown Prince.
‘This isn’t me.’
Ivonne thought, even as she continued to berate him. She had spent time at the Count Ulfest’s estate with Blitzen, not even as a noblewoman, but acting more nobly than the nobles themselves. She had been taught to control her feelings, to suppress everything to avoid causing trouble in Blitzen’s future.
‘And here I am, swearing at the Crown Prince…!’
She was horrified by her own words but couldn’t stop herself from shouting.
“Fool! What, do you think the dead will come back to life and forgive you? Do you think the dead will return? Even knowing this, why—why are you doing this now…?!”
Her body trembled. Slowly, she could see Herix’s face, his lips parting.
‘What will he say?’
That thought frightened her. So, Ivonne tightly squeezed her eyes shut.
“Why… why is this happening…?”
Ivonne threw her head back, crying like a child. No matter how much she wiped her face, the tears fell faster than she could stop them.
It was then that Ivonne realized she was still trapped in the mindset of a child.
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