Chapter 64
As the two men watched her expression gradually change, their hearts dropped. It was only for a moment, but Elaria’s face had turned very cold.
If someone who had always been the same were to change, would that simply be a passing mood? Or a change of heart?
Feeling anxious, the two men grabbed her wrists at the same time. Noctis spoke urgently.
“I want to know too…”
“Noctis, you too…”
“If you’re anxious, tell us you’re anxious. Then we’ll do anything to reassure you.”
At his firm answer, Elaria was momentarily at a loss for words. The rising resentment and gratitude tangled together. Even though it was her own heart, it felt too complicated to understand.
After waiting a moment for her answer, Lucian suddenly spoke in an agitated voice.
“You said you could like me no matter what kind of person I am!”
She remembered the day their hearts had connected. At that time, Lucian had asked whether she could like him no matter what kind of Lucian he was. And she had answered that she could.
So that question had been connected to their secret.
That was why he had struggled over it for so long.
He had decided then whether to keep me by his side or not.
Realizing that he had chosen her long ago, even as a child, the resentment that had been boiling inside her began to settle.
Not completely, but still.
“…Even so, it’s natural that I might feel betrayed.”
For the first time, Elaria voiced her thoughts. She knew well enough that the two men cherished her. But it still felt unfair. All this time, she had known nothing.
At today’s banquet, Lucian had shown many sides she had never seen before. She had encountered him at banquets even before their marriage, but Lucian acting as the duke had felt very unfamiliar.
The same was true of Noctis. Before she knew he existed, Lucian had been gentle, but afterward he often became mischievous as if he were a different person, which sometimes confused her. It was not that she disliked it, but it felt as though the Lucian she had known was disappearing, and at times it left her feeling strangely empty.
That was why she needed time.
Time to fully process everything that had happened so suddenly.
“Ella.”
“Ria.”
The two men called her at the same time. Gently stroking the wrists they were holding, they spoke almost simultaneously.
“So?”
“…What?”
“So now, do you want to call off the marriage?”
Lucian spoke first, and Noctis immediately added,
“You’re not thinking of abandoning the two of us who have looked only at you from the beginning, are you?”
At the forced question, Elaria finally spoke something she had held in her heart for a long time.
“The ones who abandoned me first were you.”
At her words, Lucian answered quickly.
“Not me. That was something Noctis did on his own.”
“Hey.”
“I never once wanted to break up.”
Noctis let out a short, incredulous laugh and brushed back his hair. Usually he was indifferent, but at times like this he moved quickly, and that was annoyingly like him.
After pushing aside his stray thoughts, Noctis also hurried to explain.
“…It’s true that I did that, Ella. I know that I hurt you, and I’m sorry. But it wasn’t because I disliked you that I said we should break up.”
“Then why… did you ask to break up?”
She was genuinely curious. He had already chosen her, so why had Noctis asked her to end their relationship?
Looking troubled, he reluctantly spoke.
“…I wanted to know your true feelings.”
“My true feelings?”
“Yes. And I wanted you to become as desperate as we were.”
At the unexpected answer, Elaria slowly blinked. She had always liked him. It would not be an exaggeration to say that her heart had been taken from their first meeting.
She had sometimes felt inadequate, but there had never been a time when she was not earnest. She had always wanted to spend even one more day with him.
“Just by the way you look confused, it means you still don’t understand.”
“No, you’re the one who doesn’t understand. I always… liked you. Every time we met and parted, I didn’t even want to go back home.”
“But you never expressed it.”
“Isn’t that the same for you? You never told me anything either, so why did I have to reveal all my feelings alone? Why?”
As Elaria pressed him persistently, Noctis fell silent for a moment. Somehow, he felt a sense of danger that he should not speak carelessly from here on.
Now that she understood the reason for their breakup, Elaria felt dumbfounded. Couldn’t they have just asked her? The thought occurred to her that they had lacked communication.
Her captured wrists began to feel stifling. She tried to pull them free with a little force, but the two of them clung stubbornly, and she let out a sigh.
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