I Never Wanted His Child - Chapter 187

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

The image of her red hair flickered before his eyes. It felt as though he could reach out and find her.

Just as he was about to turn, a faint flash of red caught his eye. It looked as though someone had collapsed. He quickly ran toward the bushes.

“…Your Grace!”

The knights urgently followed him.

Mikhail couldn’t go any further and stopped.

Where he stopped, a vibrant red canna flower was blooming in full force.

❖ ❖ ❖

A week passed, and there had been no progress in the search.

Mikhail was consumed by frustration.

‘Is this really the end?’

As Dahlia had said, it was the end he had wanted. The Loren family was shattered, and the Jalliar dynasty was on the brink.

But he didn’t feel any relief, not even a little. His mind was entirely filled with thoughts of Emilia.

He couldn’t think of anything else. Every time he saw the color red, he chased after it like someone who had lost their mind. But every time, he quickly realized it wasn’t her and had to smile bitterly.

“Your Grace, there are rumors circulating about the Loren family. Even the newspapers have articles speculating that Duke Heinrich might be behind it. You must respond.”

“Even if I say I didn’t do it, is there anyone who will believe me?”

Everyone would pretend to believe, but in reality, they wouldn’t.

“The Spiegel newspaper did publish an article suggesting that the royal family might punish Duke Loren.”

Mikhail closed his eyes and rubbed his aching head.

“The royal family probably hasn’t caught on yet.”

If they had, things would become complicated. If she was still alive, he couldn’t let her be seen by the royal family. Adrian wouldn’t let this opportunity slip.

If that were the case, he might publicly declare her death and lock her away in some remote place.

If she fell into their hands, the situation would turn against him.

They would use her life as a pawn to destabilize him.

Lady Luther and Adrian had already noticed his possessiveness toward her. They didn’t care to understand the exact nature of his feelings.

It didn’t matter to them.

Kartho nodded, seeming to understand his concerns.

“It seems they don’t know yet. The knights are disguising themselves while searching, so even if the shadow sees, there’s nothing unusual to report.”

“As long as it looks like a training exercise, that’s fine.”

Kartho nodded again.

Mikhail was still irritated by the relentless rain.

“Did they say the rainy season will last until next week?”

“Yes, that’s the forecast. As long as the rain doesn’t intensify, the search will continue, so you don’t have to worry.”

Worry?

He was afraid. With each passing day, the fact that there was still no trace of her was driving him mad.

Is this really the end?

Her final image kept repeating in his mind.

Every night, she appeared in his dreams, screaming in agony, pouring out resentment and hatred, and contempt.

The vibrant green eyes that had once smiled so brightly at him slowly faded away. Then, she stopped abruptly at the edge of a cliff.

The eyes, once filled with the vibrant light of fresh greenery, had vanished, leaving only dilated, unfocused pupils staring at him.

“It’s as you wanted.”

The face that had once been smiling happily was quickly overshadowed by despair. Mikhail desperately reached out, but by then, she had already thrown herself over the edge of the cliff.

And that wasn’t all.

Soaked and trembling, she shed tears, giving him a sad smile before being swept away by the fast current, vanishing as if dragged into it. At other times, it was only the sight of the carriage falling off the cliff that repeated endlessly.

Mikhail could not sleep properly.

She slipped away from his grasp every time he had a chance to save her.

Over and over again, he had to witness her death, and each time, it felt like his chest was being crushed by the pain.

Her unexpected death brought many changes within him.

‘No, I can’t say she’s dead for sure.’

He believed she was alive. Emilia was definitely alive and carrying on somewhere.

Mikhail once again felt a sharp pain and grabbed his chest with his hand.

“Ha.”

He almost wished he didn’t feel this pain. He even wondered if it would have been better not to seek revenge in the first place.

Reports from the knights came in several times a day, but there was no trace of her anywhere.

It made him question whether she had ever really existed.

Dahlia, displeased with him locking himself away in his office all day to track down traces of her, hadn’t come down from the third floor for a while.

Thanks to that, the estate had been quiet, but Boestin, who was staying here, threw cryptic comments at Mikhail whenever she was around.

“Mikhail, I don’t get it. Why are you so obsessed with not being able to find her? You weren’t even close. From what Dahlia said, it doesn’t seem like you kept her around out of love for her.”

Boestin rested her chin in her hand and looked at Mikhail.

If someone asked Boestin if Emilia was important to Mikhail, she would have immediately answered “No.”

Since her disappearance, Mikhail had been acting like a person who had lost their mind. She couldn’t understand what he was thinking.

He seemed to show jealousy whenever Emilia was with the king, but Boestin thought it would be a passing interest. She never expected him to act this obsessively just because Emilia left on her own.

“Did you love Emilia?”

“…Love?”

He threw her question back.