Chapter 48
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She had marched out boldly enough, but the place she ended up was a secluded garden at the edge of the Baldomer estate.
Thinking about the banquet that was probably descending into chaos made her feel a little better.
She decided she would clear her head here for a while, then return to her room, wash up, and catch up on sleep.
Just then, she heard rustling from the bushes followed by a familiar voice.
“Is it really alright for the star of the banquet to leave like this?”
It was Lloyd, the second son of Silverstel.
I was startled for a moment, but quickly composed myself and replied curtly.
“I’m not the star. Baldomer is.”
“Madam, you’re part of Baldomer now too, aren’t you?”
“……”
At his kindly pointed remark, I pressed my lips together.
Lloyd looked awkward at my reaction and cautiously came closer.
“Your husband doesn’t seem very perceptive.”
I didn’t want Lloyd to realize how strained my relationship with Kallion was.
“Don’t concern yourself with it.”
At my cold words, Lloyd quietly watched my expression before cautiously continuing.
“Would you like me to keep you company?”
“I’ll pass.”
Lloyd gave an awkward smile.
“Ah… It took some courage for me to say that.”
“……”
At his teasing words, I looked at him suspiciously.
He smiled brightly.
“I may not be able to completely fill your husband’s absence, but at least you won’t be bored.”
I couldn’t understand why he was showing me such goodwill when, unlike in the past, he knew nothing about me.
“I’m a daughter of Heister. Silverstel and Heister aren’t exactly on good terms either.”
At my deliberate attempt to draw a boundary, his expression stiffened and he replied calmly.
“But you aren’t a member of Heister anymore, are you? Besides, you’ve married into Baldomer, Heister’s enemy house.”
Then, apparently realizing what he had just said, he hurriedly continued.
“I’m sorry. You kept pushing me away, and it slipped out before I realized it.”
“……”
“To tell you the truth, I don’t care about relations between our houses.”
Right, he had always been like that.
Despite being born with the powerful energy of the Ice Spirit, he had never cared about becoming head of the house or about relations between the great houses.
So much so that it had been strange that he’d eventually become the head of the house in my previous life.
“I simply want to become closer to you, Madam.”
At the sincerity in his straightforward gaze, I frowned and asked.
“Why?”
Why?
Unlike in my previous life, when I had deliberately approached him and married him, in this life there was nothing connecting us.
Because I knew all too well how much he’d suffered through his life with my selfish self.
Even while receiving wholehearted love at his side, my heart had always been turned somewhere else.
So this time.
At least in this life, I desperately hoped he wouldn’t become entangled with me.
So why…?
Meeting my frowning gaze, he lowered his head with an awkward smile. Then he murmured quietly with a bittersweet smile.
“I don’t know. I suppose I just like you?”
“I’ve married into Baldomer.”
At my cold response, Lloyd smiled awkwardly.
“Not every kind of affection has to be romantic, does it? When I saw you, I simply thought I wanted to know you better. Something like becoming friends.”
“Friends…?”
When I looked at him as though that made even less sense, he scratched his forehead.
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed when I found out you were the lady of Baldomer. But separately from that, I simply want to become closer to you. To the person you are, Juliana.”
“……”
“That’s why I deliberately asked my elder brother to let me come to this banquet.”
Friends.
There was no way that could be possible with a man who had been my husband in my previous life.
I had never ultimately returned his unwavering love, but we had still been husband and wife who shared a bed.
He had been such a gentle man that even in bed, my pleasure always came first and his own was pushed aside.
The truly ironic problem was that I had never felt with Lloyd the same thrill I had felt when sleeping with Kallion, my first husband.
That was why seeing Lloyd only made the pain and guilt worse.
These memories were still as vivid as though they had happened yesterday, so the idea of becoming friends was absurd.
I abruptly came to my senses and shook my head.
“Other people won’t see it that way.”
“Does it matter how other people see it?”
With that, he stared directly at me.
“You’re lonely right now, aren’t you?”
My heart dropped.
It felt as though he’d discovered something I had kept tightly hidden.
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