It’s Time to Stop Clinging to the Fake Guide - Chapter 103

After confirming that Lynette, who had been fidgeting as though resisting sleep, had quickly drifted off, Euphen swiftly released her hand.

Her face, still pale as a sheet, likely from the shock of yesterday, looked pitiful. And with one cheek covered entirely in a purplish bruise, his body trembled with rage all the more.

That bastard should not have been allowed to die so easily. What nerve did he have, to lay a hand on Lynette?

Anger surged toward the assassin who was already dead, and then Euphen felt even more wretched.

‘If I hadn’t been absent, this never would have happened.’

How had it all come to this? Where had everything gone wrong?

Lynette should never have been his fake Guide. She should never have dreamed such a dream. She should never have known that Eshar was his Guide. …She should never have loved him.

“Ha.”

A dry laugh escaped. No matter how much he regretted it now, it was useless. There was no such thing as “if” once something had already happened.

If only he had never loved this woman… would everything have been simpler? If he had used her as nothing more than a fake Guide and discarded her without hesitation, would things have been safer?

He gazed quietly at her face as she slept so helplessly. Whenever it came to Lynette, he was left with nothing but questions.

He had never once dreamed of her appearing to him, and yet, somehow, he could never tear his eyes away. When she looked sad, it felt as if someone were squeezing his heart until it hurt. When she smiled, he felt his own mood lift as well.

From the very beginning, something had been different. Though he didn’t believe in such things, if there truly was such a thing as a “past life,” then perhaps even then, they had been lovers.

‘Strange.’

His gaze lingered on her tightly shut eyes. He had thought that he himself was indifferent to women, yet somehow, he could guess what suited Lynette. The shoes that fit her feet perfectly, the dresses that matched her figure, he could estimate the measurements and have them sent without mistake.

All his life, he had avoided forming deep ties with anyone. Because he was an Imperial Prince.

Everything Euphen did, everything he said, was always under someone’s scrutiny. Regardless of his intent, others interpreted it however they pleased, twisting it to their own convenience.

At what age had he realized that no matter how he struggled, he could never set things right? He couldn’t remember… only that, at some point, the truth had sunk in.

So he had chosen instead to do nothing. He had no desire to fight fiercely for life. There was nothing he wanted badly enough to risk his life to have, nothing he wished to protect at all costs. He was content simply to let each day slip by, unnoticed, never becoming a target of anyone’s gossip.

‘If I die, then so be it.’

A faint, bitter laugh slipped out. Though he had no interest in the throne, if one of his siblings wished to kill him, he had already resigned himself to that. Perhaps that was why, until Lynette appeared, none of the other royals had ever considered Euphen a threat.

He hadn’t wanted to die, but neither had he wanted to live desperately. How could he describe it? He had been living in a world drained of color, a “gray world,” as people liked to call it. Nothing touched his heart.

Awakening as an Esper had been nothing but horrific. If anyone were to learn of it, they would assume he had ambitions for the throne. That was inevitable.

Feigning illness, he shut himself away, almost wishing never to open his eyes again. After all, there were Espers who had simply fallen asleep while waiting for their Guide, only to die without ever waking.

But then Euphen met Lynette.

A fake Guide. He knew she was the one Shirin had spoken of, that presence who came before an Esper succumbed to pain and sleep. If she had truly been his real Guide, she would not have come with Shirin.

‘The only good thing to have happened after awakening as an Esper.’

Or perhaps… It was a misfortune.

He stared at the hand lying limp atop the blanket. Even holding it was something to be done with caution, something he feared. How could meeting Lynette ever be called a blessing?

If she hadn’t been his fake Guide, would he never have met her at all?

There was no answer. They were far too different. If they had lived ordinary lives, they would likely never even have known of each other’s existence. And yet, with how strongly he felt this “something,” he could not help but think that they would have met, one way or another.

The moment he met Lynette, the world had not suddenly burst into brilliance. To be honest, at first, it had only been mild curiosity. Curiosity toward the very existence of a fake Guide, and toward this woman who, for some reason, looked at him with eyes that seemed to love him.

But the more time they spent together, the more that gray world of his began to take on color. He recognized the pink of her cheeks, the brown of her soft hair that reminded him of trees, the red of lips that parted as though about to speak, the pale white of her face, the colors of the clothes she wore, of the food and drinks she enjoyed.

The years he had spent suppressing himself and discarding everything suddenly seemed meaningless. Euphen had quickly fallen for this woman. He couldn’t even clearly explain why. What he could say for certain was that the emotion was love. So overwhelming that even he couldn’t make sense of it, so undeniable that the only explanation he could give was that they must have had some bond in the past. For there was no other reason why Lynette had so swiftly taken root in his heart.