Chapter 115
Lynette gazed blankly at Sillian, who looked the same as always.
Nothing about him had changed, yet the feeling she had when facing him was strangely different.
Perhaps it was because she had caught a glimpse, however briefly, of this man’s suffering.
Compared to the pain she herself had endured, it was not something she could say was particularly great.
Yet in a way, because it was so persistent and unrelenting, she found herself understanding him more.
When there was only one person who could take away a pain that seemed endless, how could anyone not become desperate toward that person?
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
The man asked with a faint smile.
Lynette stared at the hand he extended to her.
If she took it now, she would come to know what ‘real guiding’ felt like.
That, somehow, frightened her.
She felt that once she experiences guiding, her heart might waver a little.
Hadn’t people said that Espers and Guides drew closer because of that sensation?
She couldn’t be sure her love for Euphen would remain unchanged, and she feared she might begin to treat Sillian as someone ‘close’.
As if puzzled by her silent gaze, he tilted his head just slightly.
Lynette parted her lips, then spoke slowly.
“I had a dream.”
“What kind of dream?”
She stared blankly into his red eyes.
“It was terribly painful… but a hand reached out and saved me.”
At those words, Sillian looked startled, then whispered.
“Have you awakened?”
“I suppose we’ll know once i take your hand.”
Unlike Espers, Guides did not gain any special powers.
Though she hesitated, unable to take it right away, he waited calmly, as if he knew exactly what she was afraid of.
“Nothing will change.”
“…”
“Or perhaps the fact that nothing will change… is the problem.”
The man gave a bitter smile and let out a quiet sigh.
“If I take your hand, I’ll feel the guiding sensation, won’t I?”
“If you’ve awakened, you will.”
“I heard that when Espers and Guides touch, it brings them peace.”
Sillian thought for a moment, then answered in a subdued voice.
“Is this about the Prince?”
Feeling as though he had seen right through her, Lynette pressed her lips tightly together.
If she continued proper guiding with Sillian, wouldn’t there come a time when she leaned on him?
Even though Euphen was someone who inflicted pain upon contact, she had loved him.
Perhaps it was only natural.
He had loved her more than anyone she had ever met in her life.
Far more than her parents, who had so readily sold her away.
How could she not love such a person?
But now, everything is different.
There was Sillian.
She could not tell if the feelings he held for her were love, or simply the interest of a man toward his Guide.
But one thing was certain.
He was kind to her.
He knew her condition better than anyone else, and cared for her in ways no one else did.
Until now, the only person who existed to her in that way was Euphen, and now that foundation was crumbling.
It was laughable that she was already so afraid before even their first contact, yet her worries were not entirely baseless.
“Guiding doesn’t make a person’s heart change in an instant.”
“I know.”
It was true that many Espers and Guides fell in love, but it wasn’t because of guiding alone.
It was because they faced hardships together, remained side by side for so long, and shared countless experiences.
“Are you really so afraid of it?”
“…”
“Is it that you can’t bear even the smallest scratch on your feelings for the Prince?”
“Nothing will change. Just like you said, Sillian.”
“Then all the more reason it doesn’t matter, right?”
His tone almost sounded like a sneer, as if asking whether she truly believed there would be no change at all.
Lynette pressed her lips tightly shut.
She was afraid of everything.
The thought that her faithful love for Euphen might waver.
The reality that she had become another’s Guide.
The possibility that Eshar had already awakened.
The pressure of her departure drawing closer.
The despair of knowing that, no matter how much she struggled, she could never remain by Euphen’s side…
Slowly, Lynette reached out and took Sillian’s hand.
“…”
It was only the lightest touch, yet from that point of contact, something soft seeped through her entire body.
It was as if she were wrapped in a warm blanket, or immersed in pleasantly heated water.
How could she describe it?
A sensation of happiness unlike anything she had ever known in her life.
Even indulging in her favorite things could never bring joy this complete.
Lynette could only blink slowly, unable to utter a single word.
She was too shocked to come to her senses.
‘So this is what real guiding is.’
The words she had once used to deny Euphen’s heart came back to her.
How many times had she said it was only the feeling of guiding, and not true love?
Now that she had experienced it herself, she wondered if perhaps those words had not been wrong after all.
‘If that’s true… then when Miss Eshar awakens…’
If Euphen were to turn his heart toward Eshar, she would not be able to resent him.
Until now, there had only been Lynette.
But once Eshar awakens, wouldn’t that mean another choice would appear before him?
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