Chapter 117
To think he would say such a thing so openly.
For some reason, her cheeks grew faintly warm.
She had already heard words from this man that carried a ‘certain’ kind of meaning more than once, but this time it reached all the way into her heart.
Is this the power of guiding?
She lowered her head slightly.
‘What was this, really?’
She wanted to dismiss it as ‘nothing more’, but she knew well she could not.
At another time, she might have brushed it off lightly, but now she could feel the man’s sincerity. The earnest desire to truly become someone special to Lynette.
Of course, that didn’t mean she had suddenly fallen in love with Sillian. Guiding certainly made one feel a little closer to the other person, but it did not have the kind of power to shake emotions completely.
Since she was unable to say whether it would happen in the future or that it never would, the man gave a short laugh.
“From now on, there will be plenty of time.”
“I suppose so.”
“I’m curious to see just how close I can become to you.”
Before she knew it, they had reached the end of the garden.
Sillian smiled far more brightly than usual and kissed the back of her hand.
“I hope that you too, Lynette, will come to eagerly await the time we spend together.”
Not only the act of holding hands, but even the moment his lips touched her hand felt pleasant.
For an instant, she even thought she wanted to embrace him.
Realizing she had so carelessly let such a thought slip into her mind, Lynette’s eyes widened as she straightened her back.
Thankfully, thoughts were not conveyed through mere contact.
She stared blankly at Sillian’s retreating figure.
Emotions she could not handle kept pouring out.
That she regretted letting go of his hand. That perhaps it would be fine to stay with him a little longer. That she wanted to embrace him. That maybe she wanted to try touching him in ways beyond just holding hands.
‘It’s only because this is my first time guiding.’
It was no different from a child learning how to walk for the first time.
Now that she finally knew what walking was, she wanted to walk everywhere, to keep going until she grew tired.
It was the same with guiding.
Since these feelings were new, she wanted to experience them a little more, and to try them in other ways as well.
Noticing her own restless excitement, Lynette took a deep breath in and exhaled.
Pressing her chest firmly with her hand, she could feel the pounding of her heart.
She couldn’t tell whether it was beating faster than usual, but she knew for certain she was a little excited.
‘Does Miss Eshar feel this way too?’
What about His Highness the Imperial Prince, Euphen?
He must have already grown accustomed to the sensation of guiding through a ‘fake Guide,’ but doing it with a ‘true Guide’ might be something entirely different.
If touching Miss Eshar was incomparably more comfortable than with a fake one…
At that thought, Lynette faintly frowned and shook her head.
The more she tried not to think of it, the more those bad thoughts dominated her mind.
That if Euphen came to have a true partner, his heart might lean toward her without hesitation… such assumptions kept rising one after another.
After experiencing contact with Sillian, it became even harder to shake them off.
Because now she truly understood what ‘guiding’ was.
“…”
Pressing her lips firmly together, Lynette hid her darkened expression as best she could and slowly went back into the Detached Palace.
***
“These days Miss Eshar visits quite often.”
At Lara’s words, Lynette slowly nodded her head.
The uneasiness she had felt at Euphen’s odd reactions was brief.
Soon enough, he returned to being his usual self as if nothing had happened, and not a word about Eshar was ever spoken.
It was enough to make her wonder if she had only imagined that Eshar had awakened.
‘I must have been overthinking it.’
That sudden awakening a week ago had only trapped her in needless anxiety.
Because she was so caught up with the thought of leaving, she wasn’t able to calmly think things over.
Perhaps that day, she had foolishly assigned meaning to his words and actions and ended up frightening herself.
Lynette gave a small laugh.
“Lynette.”
As she was dusting off the top of a piece of furniture, Lara came closer.
“Yes?”
“Are you really fine with Miss Eshar being alone with His Highness the Imperial Prince?”
There was a hint of concern in her eyes.
“I don’t mind.”
“His Highness’s lover is you, Lynette. And yet with someone else like that…”
“Why are you worrying, Lara?”
At her question, Lara hesitated and lowered her head.
“There’s nothing to be concerned about.”
“Then that’s a relief.”
Lynette could more or less guess what Lara was thinking.
All she really had was the Prince’s affection.
Whatever the reality, from the outside it meant that love was the only thing she could cling to.
For others, it must have been hard to understand.
How she could just stand by while the Prince was alone with another woman, when she should have been clinging desperately every day for his heart.
If one day Euphen were suddenly to take Eshar as his beloved, Lynette would instantly become nothing more than a kite with its string cut.
Since Lara was also one of those who benefitted from Lynette, it was no wonder the recent meetings between Euphen and Eshar have been weighing on her mind.
‘The real thing to worry about… is me leaving.’
Lynette had a bitter feeling in her heart.
On the outside, no matter what appearances said, the truth was that she was nothing more than the Prince’s only fake Guide.
Until the day Eshar awakens, she has no risk of being cast aside.
But once Eshar does awaken, it would not be about whether or not she was going to get abandoned.
It would mean she had to leave this place forever.
Discussion
0 CommentsNo comments yet.