Chapter 146
Lynette slowly lifted her head and met his red eyes directly.
In truth, she had always known.
That this man had always been sincere.
That he truly loved her.
She simply refused to acknowledge it.
Sillian let out a faint, bitter smile and brushed his disheveled hair back.
It felt almost ridiculous to her. Now that her mind and heart, once overflowing with Euphen, had been emptied, she was only now realizing another man’s sincerity, as if it had been waiting for this moment.
“Lynette.”
He called her name softly.
Sillian’s hand gently caressed her cheek, rough and dry from tears.
He smiled in a way words could not describe, something that seemed both sorrowful and joyful. Or perhaps something else entirely.
“So please… I want you to live. To live in good health.”
“…”
“Promise me you won’t say such things again.”
Lynette slowly nodded.
The few sips of water she had drunk only seemed to deepen her thirst.
Her lips were dry to the point of pain.
It felt absurd.
After all that agony over losing Euphen, now she was thinking about something as trivial as her lips hurting.
She tried to laugh out loud, but her voice wouldn’t come out properly.
Sillian once again held out the flask.
She obediently reached for it, but after crying herself into exhaustion, her arm trembled weakly, unable to lift it.
He brought the flask to her lips and tilted it carefully. Bit by bit, until she had enough, he held it for her.
Then, with a hardened face, he spoke slowly.
“I know what I did earlier can never be forgiven.”
She lowered her gaze in silence.
Her heart, so parched it had turned to dust, felt as though a few drops of water had been poured over it, and began to beat again.
“I was wrong, Lynette. If it will ease your heart, I’ll do anything.”
Maybe it was because everything had been so chaotic, or because she had already accepted that what happened was inevitable.
Or maybe… because she finally realized that Sillian’s feelings were real.
Whatever the reason, the memory of that kiss no longer felt as horrible as before.
She was angry, yes, but she didn’t feel like doing anything to him.
“You can hit me, or curse at me if you like.”
He took her hand and placed it against his cheek, as if telling her to strike him until her anger faded.
Through her palm, his warmth and a faint softness seeped into her skin.
Perhaps guiding could really ease away small knots like this.
Her anger slowly subsided.
“…I don’t think I can forgive you.”
Lynette’s voice cracked as she whispered.
Sillian nodded calmly, as though he had expected that much.
“Don’t ever do that again.”
“I understand.”
She let out a short sigh.
Her head felt dizzy.
When she closed her eyes tightly and opened them again, he was already helping her lie down, saying she should rest.
After he left, Lynette just stared blankly at the ceiling.
She had thought she would live forever buried in sorrow, yet now that everything had been poured out, she almost felt relieved.
‘Is it all right to feel this way?’
The question lingered in her mind.
He was the man she had loved with her very life.
And now, to have that love fade away like this… It almost felt absurd.
Fatigue washed over her.
Her swollen eyes stung, and hunger gnawed faintly at her stomach.
Euphen was dead, and she was still alive.
Whether in sorrow or in faint relief, she felt with her entire being that she still remained in this reality.
‘A miracle won’t happen.’
No matter how many times she fell asleep weeping in Sillian’s arms, when she opened her eyes again, she was still in the same inn.
She had prayed countless times to return to that cramped, dark carriage.
A faint, dry laugh escaped her lips.
She thought of Euphen.
If she had known it would end like this…
She had gone through such thoughts again and again, regretting her choices, thinking if she’d only done this or that…
But in the end, nothing remained.
She slowly closed her eyes.
She thought she wouldn’t be able to sleep, but her consciousness soon sank quietly into darkness.
***
Lynette watched the man eating across from her.
Even after hearing from others, with that fragile, desperate hope that maybe… just maybe, Euphen’s death had been a lie, the truth never changed.
All those gossiping nobles spoke in hushed voices about the death of the Imperial Prince Euphen.
Still, perhaps because she had cried until she could barely breathe, when she confirmed the truth again, she could face it with composure.
“Sillian.”
“Yes?”
“When are we leaving?”
At her question, the man frowned slightly.
“It would be best to wait until you’ve fully recovered, Lynette.”
“I’m fine.”
She wasn’t injured anywhere. Just a little weak.
There was no real problem with traveling.
If she ate well and slept properly tonight, she would be fine.
The faint sadness still clinging to her might make her feel fragile, but she knew it would fade in time.
“Still, you should rest.”
She pressed her lips together.
She had made up her mind the moment she woke up.
No matter what he said, this was something she had to do.
‘He’ll definitely oppose it.’
She took a deep breath, then spoke.
“Let’s leave now.”
Before he could respond, she quickly added more.
“I want to attend His Highness the Imperial Prince’s funeral.”
Sillian looked at her in silence.
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