Chapter 158
With only the three of them remaining, an even more awkward silence settled over them.
She had thought that as long as either Sillian or Euphen was absent, it would be fine since the atmosphere between the two of them is always terrible. But contrary to her expectations, the feeling now was still far from good.
“I’ll head up as well.”
Sillian disappeared right after.
Lynette stared blankly at the woman who continued her meal with a calm expression.
Should she leave her alone, or at least wait until she finished eating?
Unable to do one or the other, she pressed her lips shut and fidgeted with her fingers beneath the table.
“Have you been well?”
“…Pardon?”
“I’m asking if you’ve been well since leaving the Imperial Castle.”
Since Eshar spoke so casually, Lynette needed a moment to process it.
Blinking in a daze, she belatedly replied.
“A-ah, yes. I’ve been well.”
“Even when you heard he died?”
The woman didn’t spare even a single glance toward Lynette as she asked again, as if seeing straight through everything.
Lynette couldn’t bring herself to say she had been fine or that she had lived well, not even as an empty lie.
She kept her lips tightly sealed.
Eshar let out a short laugh.
“Wouldn’t it have been better if you had never met again?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m saying it might have been better to live believing Euphen is dead.”
What if she hadn’t recognized Euphen when he passed by?
Then she would have attended his fake funeral, crying herself sick until she collapsed from exhaustion once more.
And after that, she would have undoubtedly continued traveling with Sillian again.
‘Then whether I liked it or not, I would have buried him in my heart.’
Would that have been better? If she had only confirmed that he’s dead, she wouldn’t be trapped in this drawn-out situation, unable to let go of her feelings.
Lynette lowered her head, unable to give any answer.
“Don’t you think it would’ve been less painful that way?”
“No. It’s unbearable.”
She had been distressed enough to mutter that she might as well die without even realizing it. But thanks to Sillian, she quickly regained her senses.
She never wanted to experience those emotions again.
It was pain and horror beyond what any words in the world could express.
“Of course it must have been painful. But the dead are the dead, and the living must live. Even if it was painful enough to make you want to die, after some time passes, you would have eventually gone on with your life.”
Lynette quietly stared at Eshar.
The woman stabbed a piece of vegetable with her fork.
Feeling Lynette’s stare, she raised her head and met her eyes.
“Do you dislike traveling together?”
At that question, Eshar blinked and let out a short laugh.
“As long as it doesn’t interfere with the plan, I don’t particularly care what happens. More than that, because you love Euphen dearly, I’m certain you won’t cause any harm.”
“…”
“It’s just unfortunate, that’s all.”
Whether she truly meant it or not, the woman showed her a look as if she pitied her.
“There is no happy future awaiting the two of you.”
Hearing someone say it so plainly was a little shocking. She already understood it in her head, and she had braced herself countless times, but being confronted with it so bluntly still surprised her, making her feel foolish.
“Even if you stay together, it will only bring more pain.”
Eshar wrinkled the bridge of her nose and shrugged.
“On top of that, even if it’s accidental, if you touch him, you’ll be the one in pain, right? And unless you return to the Imperial Castle, there’s no way to solve that problem.”
“Yes, that’s… right.”
“If it’s a relationship that only becomes more painful the longer you’re together, wouldn’t it be easier to bury it as a memory by thinking of the other person as dead?”
Every word was painfully true.
Lynette clenched her fists.
She had thought about all of it many times. Even so, she had chosen to stay with him once more.
“But… he’s… no, Euphen is alive. I found out he was alive, and we met.”
“Fate is quite cruel, isn’t it?”
The woman muttered lightly, as if it were nothing special.
If they had never met again, she would have suffered terribly for some time, but perhaps she would have recovered just as quickly.
Lost in that meaningless thought, Lynette shook her head, brushing it away.
What was the point now? Since she had already met Euphen, she had no other choice. If they could remain together, she wanted to. Even if she were to go back to that very moment, she would undoubtedly make the same choice.
“Even if it’s painful, I don’t regret it.”
Eshar looked as though she expected that answer.
She said nothing more.
Lynette quietly stood after offering a small bow.
‘I won’t regret it.’
Repeating those words to herself, Lynette took a deep breath and went upstairs.
***
Perhaps because she had seen how desperately Eshar and Euphen had ran away, it seemed like they would leave the village soon, but unexpectedly, they said it would be better to stay for a few more days.
Maybe they relaxed simply because they had escaped the Imperial family’s sphere of influence.
‘How long are we planning to stay?’
Wondering if she should at least take a walk around the village, she stepped out to look for Sillian, but instead of finding him, she spotted Eshar and Euphen standing face-to-face.
The two were talking quietly with serious expressions.
What were they discussing about that required such secrecy?
She carefully moved closer.
She couldn’t hear the entire conversation, but she was able to catch a few scattered words.
Kill. Funds. Evidence.
Just hearing that was enough to be shocking.
Were they really planning to kill someone?
Her eyes widened, and she quickly covered her mouth to stop the gasp that nearly escaped.
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