Chapter 24
“It’s all just an illusion brought on by Guiding. That’s what it really is.”
The words spilled from her mouth without thought.
“Originally, it should only be felt with one’s destined partner. But I… was forced into becoming a fake Guide.”
It felt a little ridiculous to call it “forced.” Though such a supposition was meaningless now, even if she had the chance to escape after returning, she would have still walked into the Imperial Castle on her own and willingly thrown herself into Shirin’s magic.
She didn’t even want to imagine how much longer Euphen would have suffered if she hadn’t been there.
“Because His Highness feels with me the sensations that should only be felt with a fated partner… that must be why you’re confused.”
“Are you saying everything I feel is fake?”
His jaw tightened. His voice, quivering ever so slightly, was strained as if suppressing his anger.
Her clasped hand throbbed. The pain that seeped under her skin was nothing compared to that, but he was holding her so tightly that even during Guiding the pressure was sharply conveyed.
“Yes.”
Lynette calmly answered, lowering her gaze.
“Because I myself am fake.”
A fake Guide. Sensations steeped in falsehood. Deception. Truths she could never confess. A heart she could never voice.
“Your Highness is the ‘real’ Esper.”
“……”
“And I am fake.”
The sound of his teeth grinding reached her ears.
She needed to move faster. She blamed herself for being careless. She had never expected Euphen to come to like her so quickly.
‘Because he was always a kind person.’
That was why she had naively decided that everything he did was simply his nature.
Pathetic.
Even in her second life, she found herself pathetic for not being able to accomplish even her single goal properly.
“So please, don’t misunderstand.”
Lynette denied everything Euphen was holding in his heart at this moment.
‘Please don’t say any more. Please.’
If she listened to him just a little longer, she wouldn’t be able to endure it. The moment the grip on her hand loosened, she quickly pulled away.
The man only looked at Lynette in silence, making no move to stop her. He looked as though he was either shocked, or deep in thought.
“Thank you for treating Miss Eshar kindly. She’s truly a good person. I hope, Your Highness… that you’ll like her too.”
She bowed her head. Though the problem of how to bring the two of them together still remained, right now all she wanted was to leave this place.
Almost fleeing, she pulled back from Euphen and ran until she reached the Mage Tower. She ran and ran until her breath clawed all the way to the top of her head, but nothing inside her found a way out.
***
After Shirin erased the aftereffects with her magic, Lynette collapsed onto the bed as though she had gone limp.
‘It feels like I’ve gotten used to it, and yet I never do.’
Sometimes she could endure it, but then there would come moments when she felt like screaming. Lynette let out a long sigh.
Still, if there was one small comfort, it was that this pain never allowed her to forget her goal, not even for a moment. In the rare instances she found herself slipping into the happiness of the past, the searing pain that took over her body always snapped her back to reality.
She closed her eyes and remembered Euphen’s face.
‘He looked as if he had never even considered that possibility before.’
He had clearly never realized that all those emotions were born because she was a “fake Guide.”
From his perspective, she must have simply seemed like a savior. After suffering in pain for months, suddenly someone appeared who could erase it all in an instant. It would have been stranger not to be attracted.
Even though Shirin said “temporary,” even though Lynette herself said “fake,” perhaps none of it reached him properly. A bitter smile tugged at her lips.
‘This is difficult.’
When she first returned, she thought everything would be resolved easily. Eshar and Euphen would meet and quickly fall in love, and she would slip away, go far away to live quietly, wishing for his happiness.
But everything had gone into disarray. The sudden appearance of Sillian. Euphen, who was not so easy to push away. Even her attempt to bring Eshar and Euphen together hadn’t gone as well as she’d hoped.
Her head throbbed. With a faint groan, she pressed her palm hard against her forehead.
How long had she stayed like that? Just as she was dozing off, she heard a soft tapping sound.
Lynette opened her eyes. Thinking she must have imagined it, she tried to fall back asleep, but the tapping came again. It was at the window.
‘What is that?’
Thinking perhaps something had flown in during the night, she turned her head, and froze when her eyes met a pair of red ones. She sprang up in fright.
Sillian was standing outside the window.
He tapped again with his fingertip, then pointed at the latch below. Though she understood he wanted her to open it, she couldn’t bring herself to move.
Why on earth? No, how had he even climbed up here? That was the bigger question.
When Lynette hesitated, he looked straight at her and clearly mouthed the words: ‘Please open it.’
Even so, she remained still. With a sigh, Sillian raised his fist. Without hesitation, he swung his hand toward the window.
“W-wait! Wait a moment!”
Lynette shouted belatedly, waving her hand. She hurried to the window and unlatched it, just in time for him to stop his fist from breaking the glass. With a calm expression, he stepped into the room.
“What do you think you’re doing.”
She wanted to yell, but forced down her emotions and asked in a low voice.
“This room isn’t very good.”
With a composed expression, Sillian brushed back his hair and glanced around her room.
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