Chapter 58
Abel truly had never intended for things to spiral this far.
But what was done was done, and Felix had ended up suffering because of it.
Abel felt he needed to offer a more concrete, more sincere apology.
The problem was that, when he saw Felix the following day, Felix didn’t look remotely interested in speaking to him.
“Fel—”
After trying several times to catch Felix’s eye and say something, Abel was ignored for the tenth time in a row. Left with no other choice, he resigned himself to postponing his apology until their once-a-day kiss.
“Lord Abel?”
“No… never mind.”
Abel hadn’t been trying to ask Felix what time they were supposed to kiss.
Felix had simply said, when he arrived for work that morning, not to speak to him until he went off duty. Abel had merely assumed, on his own, that the kiss would therefore happen when Felix got off work.
He wanted nothing more than to apologize to Felix, whether there were other people around or not. But it was obvious what kind of rumors that would spark, so he reluctantly abandoned the idea.
All Abel could do now was wait until the two of them were finally alone.
“Lord Abel, thank you for joining us.”
Carrying the weight on his mind, Abel set about his duties as the Father’s Messenger.
They were routine responsibilities, so it wasn’t as though letting his thoughts wander caused any real problems.
Still, every so often during his work, he found himself bothered by the gazes directed at them.
Why was that priest looking back and forth between Abel and Felix?
Was it because, unlike usual, Abel hadn’t called Felix over to stand beside him? Or was he imagining all the rumors surrounding Felix?
He had never particularly cared how other people saw him or what they imagined about him.
But the way people looked at Felix irritated him immensely.
“Why are you looking at him like—”
“…Pardon?”
“Never mind. You may leave.”
Yet even if he disliked those looks, he hesitated to call people out for them, worried it might only upset Felix even more.
‘I’m actually watching what I say.’
Maybe he was even walking on eggshells.
Loving someone had always brought out new sides of Abel, but he had never imagined it would make him so conscious of another person’s feelings.
Felix got angry with him all the time anyway. He should just treat this the same way he always had.
That conclusion would have made perfect sense. Yet instead, Abel found himself completely consumed by a question he had no answer to:
How was he supposed to make Felix forgive him?
Why was Felix smiling like that?
What did that look in his eyes mean?
What was he thinking whenever he looked at Abel?
Was Felix even looking at him at all?
He wanted to understand Felix.
That was why he kept wanting to turn around, to look at him, to check how he was doing.
But every time, he stopped himself, afraid that even that might make Felix uncomfortable.
At long last, the day’s work came to an end.
“Lord Abel. Thank you for your hard work.”
Behind the priests and Holy Knights bowing to him at the doorway stood Felix, upright as ever.
Standing at the very back of the group, he wasn’t remaining silent because no one would notice whether he offered his farewell. It was obvious he simply hadn’t said goodbye because he still had something to do with Abel.
Felix really was intending to keep the promise he had made.
And that could only mean one thing. His anger hadn’t subsided.
‘Of course it hasn’t.’
Abel had left an apologetic gift behind in Felix’s private training ground, but judging by Felix’s reaction, he hadn’t even discovered it yet.
In other words, Abel still hadn’t properly apologized.
He had to do it before any more time passed.
As the clergy filed out of the room after offering their farewells, not a single one of them seemed curious about why Felix remained in Abel’s bedchamber.
Even without a direct order from Abel, they all behaved as though it were only natural for Felix to stay behind.
This, too, was proof of just how often Abel had forced Felix’s hand over the years.
‘I’ll apologize for this too.’
Abel mentally listed everything he needed to apologize to Felix for. Then, the moment the door clicked shut, he hurriedly spoke.
“I’m sorry, Felix.”
Felix remained standing by the door, a faint smile resting on his lips.
“I heard about the strange rumors that started because of me.”
It would be nice if he just stayed over there.
“I didn’t think it through.”
Felix slowly began walking toward him.
“I honestly thought I’d be the one everyone criticized. I never imagined I’d become this popular.”
Hah— For an instant, it almost sounded as though a cold laugh had escaped Felix.
But as if to tell him he’d imagined it, Felix’s face still wore that gentle, spring-breeze smile.
“I understand why you were so angry now.”
His footsteps quickened.
No matter how spacious it was, Abel’s bedchamber was still only a room. The distance between them rapidly disappeared.
“I know you said you didn’t want to talk to me, but—”
Before he could finish, Felix had already stopped right in front of him.
“I still needed to apologize—”
“Be quiet.”
Rebuking him in an icy voice, Felix braced one hand against the back of the chair and leaned down.
Just as he had the day before, the distance between them vanished.
This time, however, there wasn’t the slightest trace of a smile in Felix’s eyes.
Discussion
0 CommentsNo comments yet.