Chapter 234
Today, snow was falling just like the day Macy left. Winter was a nightmare season for Rubens in many ways.
It felt as if Arzena, who had passed away, had summoned him to Lettern village to mock him, to tell him not to regret like she did, and asking why he never heeded her advice.
Was it because he ignored those words that this happened? No, he was tired of such meaningless speculation.
He just wanted to touch her. To feel she was alive and hold her close.
No, he wanted to end her life with his own hands for the pain she caused him—and he wanted to leave this world too, to be freed from the endless torment and suffering.
No, he wanted to breathe life back into her withered body and live long with Macy—until wrinkles formed and his hair turned gray.
To kill her. To save her. These tiring thoughts spun in his mind hundreds of times a day.
If they both went to the afterlife, Macy would go to heaven and Rubens to hell, so at least once in this life—
The heavy layers of depression pressed down on him. The sunlight that shone after a long time was painfully harsh.
* * *
“Is the funeral over?”
“Today is the last day.”
Dia said this while feeding Macy.
‘So today is the last day.’
Though not especially close, Macy had talked a lot with Arzena at the Lettern villa. Perhaps that was why she felt bitter, stuck in bed during the funeral, unable to get up.
She gazed out the window, silently mourning from afar.
Outside, snow had been falling for days.
“Is that person… leaving today?”
“Yes. Because a blizzard is expected, all the mourners who came for the funeral are leaving today.”
“Ah…”
Lettern village was generally mild, but it was said that a heavy snowstorm could paralyze the area, piling up snow like mountains.
That time seemed near. So it seemed Eren would return to the estate soon as well.
“Anna has been assigned to work in the kitchen while the Duke is staying here, so don’t worry.”
“I know. Dia will have taken good care of things.”
When they heard Eren would come here, Macy and the others had agonized over what to do.
For the few days of the funeral, they considered leaving the villa to hide elsewhere, or even leaving the Krygen villa altogether now that Arzena was gone.
But it was still too dangerous.
They heard that if an unfamiliar person appeared in the village, the imperial search party would come to investigate within a day.
So they decided to stay in the villa without any changes.
After all, Eren would be staying at the main estate far from the annex, so there was no need to look out the window.
‘But why do I feel so uneasy?’
Just knowing Eren was nearby tightened Macy’s chest. She felt like at any moment he would burst through that door and drag her away.
Thinking of those fierce blue eyes sent goosebumps crawling over her skin.
“If you’re worried, I can look for another place for you to stay right now.”
“No, I’m really okay.”
Dia seemed to notice the anxiety but Macy kept insisting she was fine.
She didn’t want to trouble Dia and Anna any more. She just had to hold on a little longer.
If she could endure just a little longer, this miserable, pitiful life would finally end.
‘The misfortune I dread won’t happen now. I’m okay. I’m okay.’
Every night as Anna put her to sleep, Macy whispered this magical prayer to calm her anxious heart.
* * *
“Great Mother, your servant returns to your embrace.”
While the priest delivered the eulogy, white snowflakes softly piled on the coffin. The black coffin, engraved with a cross, was strikingly calm and dignified.
“My, she lived so splendidly before falling ill, but to leave so humbly…”
“They say people change when they’re about to die. Maybe the Duchess did, too.”
“How much could such a fierce woman really change?”
The murmurs of the mourners reached even Rubens’s ears, who stood closest to the coffin.
When he last saw Arzena, she did seem changed somehow…
Still, to face such a death, Rubens thought how fleeting life truly was.
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