Chapter 43
“If he chooses, then…”
As she headed toward the room assigned to the private tutor, her stomach felt strangely queasy. She herself didn’t know why.
Back in the room, Julia removed the brooch first. Somehow, it felt like she shouldn’t be wearing it. She thought she should never do so again.
‘This feels so strange.’
Still confused, Julia sat blankly on the bed and rang the bell.
Mary came up a little late today. It seemed the servants were busy urgently receiving the Marchioness Alleguleur.
“Missus Devel.”
Julia looked at Mary, trying to compose herself. She even forced a smile, as if to prove she was fine.
“It seemed like a guest arrived.”
There was no point in trying to hide it. Mary simply nodded in silence.
A troubled look flickered across the head maid’s resolute face. It seemed she didn’t know how to treat Julia in a situation where a guest had arrived so suddenly. She looked as though she was agonizing over what to say.
‘Why is she hesitating?’
Julia couldn’t understand Mary at all.
There was only one answer.
Julia was a private tutor meant to remain in the shadows, someone who must not show herself in the light.
She had to stay still like a ghost, without letting her existence be known, not only at the party but even before the Marchioness Alleguleur. That was what made sense, and what suited her position.
Julia smiled with a pale face.
“Until the guest leaves, it would be better if I didn’t leave my room. Could you also be careful when bringing me food?”
It was an exemplary response.
A response dictated by duty and status. Julia felt proud of herself. I’m doing well. Yet somehow, it didn’t sit right. Her chest felt like it hurt, and her stomach kept cramping uneasily.
Mary looked at Julia with an apologetic expression.
‘Why does she look like that?’
Julia couldn’t see any reason for it.
“Please convey that to His Grace as well. Ah, and today’s lesson…”
“……”
Julia recalled the number of ‘lessons’ stipulated in her contract with the Duke, and the number of times she had slept with him. Lessons were scheduled four times a week, for eight weeks. But from the very first day, they hadn’t missed a single day.
On top of that, they often went well over an hour. For the past few weeks, they had gone at it all night, pounding and being pounded until it hurt below, so the contracted number of sessions and hours had been more than fulfilled.
There would be no problem even if she announced a break.
“I won’t do it.”
In fact, even stopping the lessons entirely at this point wouldn’t cause any issues.
Julia smiled as she tried to calm her queasy stomach.
“You’ll tell him, right? Since there’s a guest, I can’t say it directly.”
“Yes, Missus.”
Mary bowed her head as if to say she understood.
“Then may I rest now?”
“I’ll bring you breakfast.”
“It’s fine. I don’t really feel hungry.”
Julia answered weakly, then added,
“And if I eat right now, I might throw up. I don’t feel well.”
* * *
When Duke Drexton came a few hours later, Julia didn’t open the door.
Not only that, she firmly urged him to leave, saying he needed to attend to the guest. If he stayed here too long, it would raise suspicion. She said it all in a gentle tone.
Duke Drexton was restless. It was as if he thought Julia was angry. Julia couldn’t understand it.
I’m a private tutor, and Duke Drexton is a young man looking for a bride. We’re each just doing what we’re supposed to do in our respective positions.
As she was thinking that, she suddenly felt as if a lump of fire surged up from her stomach. Still confused, Julia forced it back down past her throat.
In the end, the next day arrived without Julia and Duke Drexton having exchanged a single word.
On the day of the party, guests began to pour in like a flood.
Julia truly stayed still as though she was dead. Afraid that someone might even glimpse her silhouette, she didn’t go near the window at all. To any third party, Julia’s room would have looked completely unoccupied.
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