Chapter 210
Maybe it was because I was deep in my Trash Rex era, living up to the name entirely.
Before I could even react to the wreck staring back at me, my body moved on its own.
Arms, legs. And mouth.
“Oh, yeah. I messed up.”
As if mind and body had been disconnected, the words flowing out of my mouth were unfamiliar and completely beyond my control.
“…Let’s just do it again.”
If I’d had any control, I would never have said that to the five pairs of eyes staring at me.
‘This is insane. Absolutely insane.’
Not even apologizing, just brazenly saying ‘let’s do it again’?
The shame-born anguish made my head throb.
This was who I was back then? Was I out of my mind?
“I’ve got plans after this, so let me make it quick.”
Yep. Completely out of my mind.
“Hah… fine. Let’s just… let’s just do it again. We have to, what else can we do?”
The practice that followed the instructor’s sigh was a world apart from before.
I kept getting the moves wrong on a regular cycle. Couldn’t hold formation. Tripped during the dance break.
If last time had taken about an extra hour, this round took about twice that.
What came first wasn’t the end of practice, but the instructor’s white flag.
“…This isn’t going to work. Let’s finish the rest next session and call it here for today. I’ve got another appointment after this….”
“Oh, no worries. We’ll run through it one more time on our own. Go ahead, teach!”
“…Thanks, Hwa Sung.”
“Alright, let’s keep going, everyone! The song’s great, so we can’t have the choreography be a mess!”
Hwa Sung tried to lift the mood with his upbeat voice, but his efforts crumbled easily.
Because of me.
“…I’m heading out first. Good work, everyone.”
As if to make good on the ‘plans’ I’d announced earlier, my legs cut straight across the practice room toward the exit.
As my body moved on its own to pick up the bag I’d tossed by the door—
“Wait, hold on. Rex hyung, don’t go yet.”
A large hand caught my shoulder.
It was Hwa Sung’s.
He was clearly troubled, clearly with a lot he wanted to say.
After hemming and hawing for a long time, Hwa Sung chose the gentlest voice he could manage.
“…Hyung, don’t just leave. Please stay a little longer with us.”
“Why? I told you earlier I have plans.”
“Well, yeah, but we’ve got the music video shoot coming up soon. You haven’t even finished learning today’s choreography for the next one, and also….”
He couldn’t continue. His eyes darted around wildly.
“Also what.”
“……”
There was something he needed to say, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Afraid that the wrong words to someone already struggling might only make things worse.
In that silence, the first to speak was, of course, me.
“…Hey, Ji Hwa Sung.”
From this point on, I remembered with perfect clarity.
What I had said. What I had done.
“Uh, Rex hyung. Are you heading out?”
“Yeah. Drinking plans.”
“…It’s still the afternoon, though. Then what about dinner? Are you coming back for dinner? Wanna eat together? My mom sent some side dishes from Daegu—”
“No, I’ll be back at dawn. Eat by yourself, Hwa Sung.”
“…Got it. Be careful out there.”
Up until that point, there’d been some distance, but I’d still been able to have normal conversations with the members.
But then. One deranged thing I said in this moment…
That was all it took for the members to start lashing out at me, and for me to pretend not to hear any of it as I went out night after night. A nightmare cycle that went on and on.
‘Hey, you lunatic. Stop it, please…!’
I wanted to lift both hands and clamp my mouth shut, but my hands and mouth had left my control long ago, babbling away on their own.
“You’re doing this because you think I’m going to see my girlfriend, aren’t you?”
“…What? No, this isn’t about—”
“What, are you trying to control my love life or something? I’m a little thrown off. You never said a word no matter what I did before… So drinks are fine, but women aren’t? Demanding, aren’t you.”
“…Rex.”
“Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m just going out for drinks. Is that all right with you?”
“……”
Si Woo, who had been shocked by what I’d unloaded on Hwa Sung, came over and grabbed my collar with wide eyes.
But I shook him off carelessly and just shrugged.
“Si Woo, go on. Let your hyung go have a drink… You’re still underage, so you can’t come.”
“……”
“Rex.”
In this utter mess, Yu Chan hyung approached me with a somber expression, cautious and careful.
“No, Jae Ha hyung, leave it. I said it because I meant well… because I wanted to support—”
“I know how you feel. I know, so for now… let’s go, Hwa Sung.”
Hwa Sung, already furious, was being led out of the practice room by Jae Ha hyung.
That kind of judgment was exactly why Jae Ha hyung was the leader.
Well… that wasn’t what mattered right now.
“Okay. You said you’ve got plans, so I won’t keep you long. But can we talk for a second?”
“What is it you want to say so badly, Yu Chan hyung?”
The air conditioner’s breeze ruffled Yu Chan hyung’s bangs, revealing the eyes that had been partially hidden beneath.
Inside those cool, clear irises, you could see his evident concern.
“…Whether you were really dating or not, I don’t think that’s what matters.”
“Oh yeah?”
I scratched my moisture-drained, flaky cheek a few times and spoke in a bewildered tone.
“And?”
“……”
“Get to the point. I want to go.”
“Hah….”
The sound of Yu Chan steadying his breath was unmistakable.
No matter how generous, good-natured, and skilled he was at navigating conflict, that didn’t mean he should be used to a situation like this.
Discussion
0 CommentsNo comments yet.