Chapter 211
Even so, Yu Chan tamped down the emotions threatening to burst out and spoke to me evenly.
“Rex. So what I’m trying to say is….”
“……”
“If you’re meeting people because you’re hurting, because you’re lonely… you don’t have to.”
“I don’t follow. Can you actually speak clear—”
“Talk more with us, your members who live with you. Tell us when things are hard. That’s what I want.”
“Ha, haha….”
What came next was the moment.
“Yu Chan hyung, sorry to interrupt your touching speech, but.”
The moment I said something that could never be taken back.
‘No, please. Don’t say that.’
I wanted to thrash, to scream… But I had no right to choose.
That right belonged to Trash Rex.
I looked back and forth between Si Woo and Yu Chan hyung, who were staring at me, and in the end—
“Don’t go trying to play family with me.”
I just… hurled out words that wounded even the person saying them.
What had been so painful, so unfair, that I’d done this?
That since I’d already lost all credibility, my members wouldn’t believe me even if I denied it?
Or that someone with a perfectly intact family at home had the nerve to pity me?
Or that things had already gotten so bad that nothing could possibly make them worse?
Or maybe, or maybe….
This regret was meaningless. It shouldn’t even exist.
Because losing my family wasn’t my members’ fault. Every last consequence had been the result of my own mistakes alone.
Even if it was true, even if it had genuinely broken me…
“Rex, you….”
“Don’t, Yu Chan hyung. Whatever you want to say, just keep it inside.”
“……”
“We’re just strangers living together anyway.”
I should never have said any of this.
With no hands left to hold me back, my feet walked themselves out the door.
“Rex….”
“Ah, you heard that? Well, it wasn’t just for Yu Chan hyung, it was for all of you.”
“……”
Jae Ha hyung and Hwa Sung, who had clearly heard everything through the door left slightly ajar… Their expressions were beyond description.
“Go back inside. You too, Hwa Sung.”
“……”
“It’s like you said. The music video shoot isn’t far off.”
‘Better film it without the trash.’
And on top of it all, that parting sneer.
The two of them bolted inside. The double doors slammed shut.
Only then did control of my body and of my voice return to me.
“Wait, no. Even so… this, this was too much….”
I frantically tried to wrench the practice room door open, but the firmly shut door showed no sign of budging.
All I could hear were fragments of the members’ conversation, leaking through the rattling gap of the door.
“…Back then, if I hadn’t gotten all worked up at Si Woo, I could have actually talked to Rex properly.”
“No. I was the one being too sensitive around Yu Chan hyung. That’s why….”
“How is this either of your faults?! The situation is what it is! And even so, that gives Rex absolutely no reason to treat us like that!”
“Don’t say that, Hwa Sung. Don’t.”
Voices of self-blame, or laced with anger.
And voices of resignation.
“…No matter what we say, nothing will change anymore.”
The emotions that had been blazing like fire quietly settled. Cold, as if doused with water.
I murmured, dazed, toward that voice.
“…That’s not true. Things can change, Jae Ha hyung.”
This time, they really will be different.
Because the me standing here right now isn’t Trash Rex — it’s Kim Chunyong.
Because I came back to make things right with my members and my family.
Because I’ve got X (angel or devil, I’m not entirely sure which) helping me, a status window like a game, moving forward as if I’m invincible.
“They can… change….”
Overwhelmed by the flood of thoughts and guilt, I could only slump down in front of the door.
Creeeeak—
And from inside, Jae Ha hyung slowly walked out.
The pallor that had drained his face after my bombshell was nowhere to be seen. Instead, his expression was perfectly serene and kind.
Just like in the elevator, moments ago.
“Do you think things can change, Chunyong?”
“…Why are you asking something so obvious, Jae Ha hyung?”
Now everything about this situation made sense.
Why, of all moments, the one I regretted most with my members had unfolded before my eyes and why Jae Ha was playing the narrator.
“Mm, I just… can’t feel fully sure. It’s not that I don’t trust you.”
Jae Ha sat down beside me and continued in a quiet, gentle voice.
“There are things you looked away from, even though you knew. All because it was hard. You know that, right?”
“…Yeah. I know.”
“If you really want things to change, you’ll have to face those.”
With those final words, Jae Ha slowly opened the door behind me.
“Then, take care, Chunyong.”
Because it’s time to wake up from the dream.
My back gradually tipped backward, and my body fell into a bottomless hole.
In my vision, the flickering elevator lights appeared.
The bulbs at the four corners blinked once, twice. And then three times.
I felt the same dizziness as when I’d first almost woken from this dream, and I surrendered to the fall.
If I just kept falling like this….
* * *
Ding!
“…HUAAAH!”
Jolted awake by his phone’s adorable notification sound, Kim Chunyong shot upright in bed with a shout.
The phone that had been resting on his face flashed at all four corners, signaling incoming messages.
“Wh-what kind of dream was that….”
Ding! Ding! Ding!
The notifications kept going off relentlessly, and Kim Chunyong, still barely conscious, had no choice but to check his phone.
Messages from X filled the entire notification screen.
– X: Heyyyyyyy Kim Chunyong, Kim Chunyong, Kim Chunyong! Wake up wake up hurry
– X: Hey did you see the Objective window got updated?? Did you??
– X: It’s finally the start of a new chapter!! ><
– X: Congrats on debuting, yeah? Of course you still don’t know any songs or dances or anything yet, but at least you’ve got the title!!
– X: Let’s celebrate this brand new day haha!! Together with me!
“Hah….”
After reading every last one of those useless messages, Kim Chunyong slowly lay back down and rubbed his face with his hands.
“They say you have nightmares on good days, and it’s actually true….”
After becoming a member of ToZ….
It was his very first morning.
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