The Pious Priest’s Sinful Collection - Chapter 49 - Vol. 5

5

To Daphne, Theodore had once been nothing more than a beautiful statue.

One might feel the urge to approach a work of art, to look closely, to marvel at its form. But to touch it, to press lips against marble, to whisper words of love into the ear of a thing carved by human hands? That would be absurd.

So that longing, that ache that occasionally bloomed when she caught sight of him in passing, must have been no more than the natural pull toward a fine piece of craftsmanship. It was appreciation, nothing more. After all, even to her, a little girl from the backstreets, young Theodore had seemed heartbreakingly small, all bones and fragility.

After her mentor had become a star in the sky and left her stranded within the convent’s unfamiliar hush, she’d often wandered its grounds like a loose thread, unable to settle. And in those days, Theodore had seemed untouchable, like a soft-featured and skittish creature meant only for sun-dappled meadows. The sort that would bolt if one stepped too near.

So when she’d come upon him once, sitting by the riverside with a face that looked moments from crumpling… Well, she hadn’t had the heart to walk away.

“Are you crying?”

She’d approached, awkward but earnest, borrowing the same comfort her mentor had once given her. She’d offered it to him, clumsily perhaps, but with all the care she could manage. And when, later, she saw him from afar, and noticed that his complexion had grown steadily brighter with each meeting — oh, how proud she’d been.

And now? Knowing all that, remembering the boy with his fragile hands and tear-glossed lashes, how could she not feel something warm unfurl in her chest when she saw the man he’d become? So striking it was almost spiritual, so beautiful it felt like a benediction just to look at him.

It was only natural that her eyes would linger. Only natural that her heart would swell.

But she never dared want more than that. To do so would be to covet what belonged to God. She mustn’t, and she knew it.

Now that she was a little older, she understood. That boy — once just a pretty, glittering, faintly melancholic thing — was someone far more significant within the temple.

And she was… vaguely aware that she had begun using him as a sort of visual indulgence. Like some kind of pxrvxrt.

But she considered it a wholly natural reaction. If a lowly creature stumbled upon a breathtaking view, wasn’t it only right to be struck dumb with awe?

If one couldn’t possess a thing, was it so wrong to want to preserve it with one’s eyes? To look and look again, hoping to sear the image into memory — crisp, vivid, eternal?

『Liar.』

That’s what she had thought.

Daphne flinched at the sudden voice, jerking her head to glance around. But she saw nothing. There was only darkness, thick and absolute.

『No point hiding it. Just admit it — it’ll be easier.』

She turned again, eyes straining against the dark, and there, like a cruel little magic trick, appeared a child.

Unkempt, dark brown hair.

Skinny limbs, sharp angles.

Eyes of biting teal, glinting with undisguised venom.

It was her — younger, meaner, still coiled with the poison she’d needed just to survive.

Daphne stared. “What are you talking about?” Her younger self threw her head back and laughed — loud, hoarse, showing the rise and fall of her throat like it was the punchline of the century.

『You like him, don’t you? Theodore.』

Of course she did. As art. As a creation of their divine Father. How could anyone with functioning eyes like him? The man was a sculpture that breathed.

But her younger self only sneered.

『Art? Seriously? Haha…! Do you even know what art is? You don’t like him because it’s tasteful — you like him as a man. You like him in a s-xual way. Don’t dress it up as some noble appreciation of beauty.』

It was a comment she couldn’t let pass.

“Don’t be ridiculous. How could I be attracted to someone, in my position? I’m a priestess.”

Then she added, half-accusing, half-defensive:

“Besides, who doesn’t like pretty things? The Holy Father made the world beautiful. It’s only natural that our eyes are drawn to what shines.”

The girl snorted.

『When you like someone, you want to keep looking at them again and again. Don’t you know that?』

The sarcasm in her voice made Daphne want to smack her. She bit down on her lip and retorted that the girl was the one who didn’t know anything. He was the youngest cardinal in history and respected everywhere he went. And yes, he has an impressive physique and beautiful face, but where else would a person like her find someone like that? Of course she would be compelled to look.

Even as she spoke, Daphne could feel herself buying into her own explanation.

Yes, someone like him should be watched while one can. Someone like that doesn’t come around twice. To have even touched a man like that… that would be the greatest fortune, the greatest accomplishment, of her miserable little life.

She was still rationalizing when the girl let out a sigh so deep it might have cracked the floor beneath them.