Chapter 38
Even as he thought he should draw a line again, that he shouldn’t do this, looking at that back made him uncontrollably anxious.
It felt as if Heesu had turned her back on him, intending never to see him again. It felt like she would never smile at him again. It felt like she would never be happy with anything he did again. Such thoughts kept coming, making him unbearably anxious.
Until now, Violen, who had lived without affection for anyone, found this anxiety unfamiliar. Being so worried about the other person’s feelings was also unfamiliar. At first, things that were new and sparkled were slowly turning into things that were new and painful.
It was sad. Something surged up in his heart.
He truly felt like crying. The moment he felt that way,
“I wasn’t angry.”
Heesu’s voice was heard, as if mumbling. Violen momentarily doubted his ears.
“……What?”
“I wasn’t angry, it wasn’t because of that.”
Her voice was clearer than before. After speaking, she wriggled her back as if something was tickling her. Her hair swayed back and forth. Yet, Heesu struggled to continue speaking.
“It’s just… I was so…… embarrassed. It was my first time experiencing something like that…… just seeing you keeps reminding me of that time…… it’s awkward…… I don’t know what to do… so I just…….”
While Heesu spoke, Violen remained frozen, speechless. He tried to calmly and rationally process Heesu’s words that he had heard, but he was only confused.
Only one thing he could be sure of. Right now, he must be making the most idiotic face he had ever made in his life.
“……Really?”
After a long moment of blank thought, what came out of Violen’s mouth was finally such a dazed voice. He felt pathetic, wondering if this was truly his best, but no matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t figure out how he should react in this situation.
At his question, Heesu groaned, dropped her head, and said as if in pain,
“Actually, I’m still too embarrassed to look at you…….”
Only after hearing those words did Violen discover it. Evidence so clear he wondered why he hadn’t noticed it before.
Heesu’s ears, visible through her hair, were bright red. So red he wondered how they could get that red.
“Ah…….”
Violen let out a small gasp. Only then did it feel real. Only then did he understand. His body went limp, and his head spun. He chuckled wryly.
“……Don’t laugh.”
Even though he had laughed silently so she wouldn’t hear, Heesu complained, as if noticing the subtle rise and fall of the bedsheet.
“Ah, but you’re really too cute.”
“I’m embarrassed…….”
Heesu whimpered and buried her face in the pillow. Violen sat up and looked down at her. He chuckled hollowly and muttered,
“What am I going to do with you, really?”
She was truly an unbelievable woman. Every reaction she showed, everything she did, was utterly unpredictable. She turned all of Violen’s past ways of living, all his past calculations and manipulations of others, into foolishness. She shattered everything, leaving nothing behind.
Casually, without any self-awareness.
“Look at me.”
Violen grabbed Heesu’s shoulder and forcibly turned her. Her body, which initially resisted by shaking her head, was soon forcibly pulled by his firm grip and laid flat on her back. Fixed in that position, Heesu, with a bright red face and a tearful expression, tried to avoid his gaze but eventually had no choice but to look straight ahead.
At his crimson eyes, gazing at her as if she were adorable.
“I’m sorry.”
At those words, Heesu blinked and looked at Violen, then mumbled in response,
“No, I’m…… sorry too.”
Facing her, Violen smiled. He smiled with the beautiful expression Heesu knew.
At that face, Heesu somehow felt her tension release. A sense of relief washed over her. She felt as if she had lost something truly precious and found it again. She felt so happy and relieved that she wanted to cry out loud.
“Can I do it again?”
At his serious question, Heesu felt her face flush hotly again, as if it would burst, and she replied with difficulty,
“You’ll be gentle, won’t you?”
“Yes, of course.”
Violen smiled silently and reached out to gently cup Heesu’s cheek. He whispered in a low voice,
“You will be my last master.”
“……Huh?”
“Because I won’t let you discard me. Never.”
Whispering words she didn’t understand, his lips slowly descended and met Heesu’s. His tongue pushed in, sweetly swirling inside her mouth. Slowly, he consumed and captivated her.
Despite having been with so many women until then, that was Violen’s first kiss.
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