Chapter 11
By the time dusk had faded completely, Lilien could no longer read Cairn’s expression in the darkness.
He broke the suffocating silence first.
“…Lilien, do you—do you maybe like me?”
Cairn’s hand, resting quietly on his thigh, trembled slightly.
“No! That’s not what I meant at all.”
Lilien waved her hands, and Cairn let out a deep sigh.
“If that’s not it, then why are you asking for something so… ridiculous?”
“What’s so ridiculous about a kiss? When we were kids, we used to kiss each other on the cheek all the time. It’s the same thing! It’s just on the lips now, that’s all…”
For some reason, Lilien felt like she was some kind of scoundrel, trying to steal a man’s first kiss.
But Cairn, who led the noble ladies around like the Pied Piper, had probably kissed countless times before. One more kiss with her wasn’t going to wear his lips out.
She tried to convince herself, pushing down her guilt.
“So why, now that we’re grown, do you suddenly want to do that again? And out of the blue?”
“Well… um…”
“Come on, be honest. What’s gotten into you?”
She’d prepared a plausible excuse, though it was a little cheeky.
“It just seems so unfair to only ever kiss one man in my whole life!”
“What?”
“Life is long, and once I’m married, I’ll only be able to kiss my husband. So… I can’t help but wonder what it would feel like with someone else.”
He listened in silence, then took a deep breath. Lilien pressed on.
“Right now, it’s perfectly legal for me to enjoy kissing different men, isn’t it?”
Her eyes had adjusted to the dark, and she could see the deep wrinkle forming between Cairn’s brows. He ran a hand over his chest, as if to calm himself.
“Don’t tell me… Did Victor Regid propose to you? Is that why you want to try it with someone else before marrying that jerk?”
“Huh?”
“Is that really it?”
“Huh…?”
Lilien replied in surprise but Cairn misunderstood her ‘huh?’ as ‘yes!’ and began to lose his composure.
“Don’t tell me you’re actually thinking of accepting his proposal?”
She said nothing, but suddenly it was as if she had become someone who had received a proposal.
“No way. You should bring home a decent guy, not some wild, good-for-nothing like him…!”
“Hey—Cairn, calm down.”
“Do I look calm to you right now?”
“I haven’t gotten any proposal… Who would want to marry me, anyway…”
Lilien dropped her head.
“Sir Regid may be a rake, but he’s popular because he’s handsome. Why would he propose to me?”
“Wait, so—did you confess to him, and that bastard turned you down?”
“Uh…?”
The conversation was going in all the wrong directions.
“What a jerk. Who does he think he is?”
No matter how the conversation went, Cairn seemed equally annoyed.
“It’s not that! Calm down, will you? Neither of those things are true! I’ve barely said more than ten words to Victor Regid in my life! I only mentioned his name because I wanted to try a kiss, and he seems like the most experienced man in the empire.”
She clapped her hands together.
“Anyway, so—will you let me have a kiss or not?”
He just blinked, saying nothing.
“You promised earlier, on the honor of Headington. Doesn’t that mean you agreed?”
“You really are… I don’t even know what to do with you…”
He covered his face with one hand, and she could see the flush of red through his fingers.
“Let’s just think of it as a little peck on the lips, okay?”
Cairn clenched and unclenched his hand, then got up from the stool and walked to the window, opening it halfway to cool himself off in the fresh air.
Still, he stayed there for a while, pacing, before finally walking back with a look of resolve.
“Alright… but just for a moment.”
It took Lilien a second to realize he was giving her permission.
“Yes!”
He sat on the stool, lowering his chin to look at her. Lilien scooted to the edge of the bed.
“Don’t move. I’ll handle it.”
Stepping down from the bed, she gently cupped both his cheeks.
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