A Way to Confirm Your Husband’s True Feelings - Chapter 38

In light of the book’s contents, what she and Caesar had done up until now was, quite literally, only the bare minimum required to conceive a child.

He would turn off the lights, lie under the quilt, touch her body until she climaxed, then immediately insert himself. After he e********d, they would share a tender kiss and quietly fall asleep.

Of course, there had never been anything uncomfortable about the process. No—in fact, Beatrice had truly liked that time. Since she held no dissatisfaction with their plain intimacy, she had never felt the need to improve upon it.

But Caesar must have… had complaints.

Now that she thought about it, from his perspective, their encounters may have felt too bland and monotonous.

Could Caesar have already known all of this? That physical intimacy between a man and woman could be this diverse and provocative?

Most likely. Thinking back, Caesar had lived for over ten years as a commoner, and only among rough men. Even if he had remained physically pure, the odds that he knew nothing of such matters were very low.

Was that why… he had complained to Sir Schultz about how sick and tired he was of married life with his wife?

Of course, none of the remarks Beatrice had actually heard from Caesar contained anything like that. But over time, those words had begun to distort in her mind.

Regardless, even if he had never shown it on the surface, she now felt a strong conviction that her husband had been accommodating her all along. Beatrice was both grateful for that and, at the same time, a little resentful.

If there had been something unsatisfying in bed, it would’ve been nice if he had said something.

On the outside, Caesar had always seemed completely content with their nights together.

If even that had been an act…

Reaching that point in her thoughts, Beatrice shook her head to drive them away.

Rather than dwelling on the past, she wanted to focus on how to mend the marital bond that had begun to fray.

As Amelia had said, once the body opens up, perhaps the heart would too. If this approach improved their intimate life, it might make it easier to confirm her husband’s true feelings.

After glancing once more at the cover of the illustrated volume, Beatrice firmly hid the two books—wholly inappropriate for a noblewoman’s bedchamber—beneath the space under the bed.

It wasn’t difficult to imagine her and Caesar in several of the dozens of positions depicted in the book.

Her heart might burst from embarrassment, but still, wasn’t this something she could try tonight?

What mattered was a heart that did not retreat, and the courage to attempt without fearing failure. In that respect, she was a model student who had quickly absorbed Amelia’s teachings.

With a bit of worry—and a touch of anticipation—Beatrice pulled the quilt over herself and lay down.

It was time to restore her strength for the night to come.

***

After spending the morning and afternoon napping, Beatrice regained her energy and left her room. The first thing she did was check what plans she and Caesar had for the evening.

Since the imperial banquet had taken place the previous day, neither she nor Caesar had any scheduled engagements tonight. There were no parties to attend until the following week either, so it seemed like the perfect chance to put what she had learned into practice.

However, the problem was the emotional distance she had kept from him until just yesterday. She had gone out of her way to avoid him to an unnatural degree… Wouldn’t it seem strange if she suddenly suggested they share a room again?

Of course, Caesar might say nothing at all, just like always. The more she thought about that, the more stubborn she felt. She wanted to break through that indifference of his, where everything was always just fine, either way.

That evening, despite the awkwardness, Beatrice stood by the front entrance to greet Caesar for the first time in half a month.

As always, Caesar handed over his outer coat to the butler, but looked at her with a surprised expression. Even the servants, who had once taken this scene for granted, now watched in shock, making Beatrice feel self-conscious for no reason.

“Welcome back.”

Tucking her hair behind her ear in embarrassment, she smiled at him.

“I must have really been tired lately. I haven’t even properly welcomed you home… but today, I wanted to make sure I came out to see you.”

Compared to pushing him away unconditionally, this approach was much easier to carry out. Perhaps because it came from genuine feeling, Beatrice found it easier than expected to welcome her husband just like she used to.

In truth, the one who had been more desperate during the past few days of distance… was her.