Chapter 78
“Then what can I actually decide for myself?”
This time, Lilien refused to back down. She needed a space of her own, somewhere Cairn couldn’t invade.
“Ask for something else.”
“No. I’m not giving in on this. I’ve already let you have your way with everything else— the wedding date, the venue, the dress.”
She’d held her tongue on so many things for the sake of just one request. There were times she wanted to pick a fight, or even give him a piece of her mind, but she’d always held back, biting down her protests and choosing small complaints instead.
Even when she felt like she could win if she pushed harder, she’d stepped back, giving in to Cairn’s decisions for the sake of peace. But there was a reason for her patience all this time.
“You keep saying this is our wedding. So why is everything your way? What about what I want? It’s not like the palace is lacking for space. Is it so impossible to have separate rooms? You’ll probably get annoyed sharing a room with me, too— I toss and turn like crazy when I sleep.”
“…Sorry.”
He apologized right away, but Lilien wanted more than just words—she wanted a promise.
“Don’t just say you’re sorry. I mean it. I want my own space.”
She shook Cairn’s arm with determination. He didn’t budge, but she refused to give up.
“Cairn!”
Her sharp voice echoed through the carriage.
“…Fine.”
This was the price Cairn paid for making all the decisions unilaterally. In the end, he had to hand over authority on the most important issue.
Their very first battle had ended in Cairn’s complete defeat.
* * *
Late in the afternoon in June, with the sun hiding behind the clouds and the sky tinted a gentle pink, Lilien gazed out through the white lace curtains and spotted a familiar figure approaching. She rushed out to meet her.
The faint calls of birds closing out the day brushed softly at her ears as she hurried down the flower-lined garden path, her steps light as feathers.
“Matilda!”
Matilda, who had left Lilien’s side, had finally returned.
“Miss! You’re going to fall if you run like that!”
Leaves crunched under Lilien’s feet with every step, the scent of grass and flowers swirling around her. Today, she thought, it wouldn’t even matter if she tripped and fell.
“I missed you.”
“I missed you, too…”
“I was too harsh when I sent you away, wasn’t I?”
Matilda looked down, about to deny it out of courtesy, but finally gave a small nod.
The two of them shared a tight hug and then spun each other around the garden, hand in hand. Soon, the rest of the staff returned, and the mansion was quickly filled with life again.
The only one still out of sorts was Christian.
“So, Lord Grenor is actually angry? I’ve never seen him lose his temper—how strange. But you are marrying Lord Headington—that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”
“A good thing… Is it really a good thing? It should be good for me, so why would Christian be mad?”
No sooner had their emotional reunion ended than Lilien let out a deep sigh, telling Matilda what had happened with Christian.
“So, Lord Grenor is still here?”
“Yeah. Since the wedding is so soon, he said there was no point going all the way back to Brsenyu and then coming back again. I think he also just felt bad leaving me alone here when the mansion was empty.”
“Did you try apologizing to him?”
“No… He’ll defend me in front of Father, but when we’re alone, I can barely get a word in.”
“Miss, you should try. If you speak to him honestly, I’m sure he’ll understand. He cares about you more than anyone.”
With those words, Matilda went to make tea, and Lilien gathered her courage and headed up to the study. She was still nervous—afraid he’d yell again. She was used to her father’s scoldings, but Christian’s temper truly scared her.
The Count had said that once she came into the palace, she’d no longer be part of the de Bermore family, but just another outsider.
He hadn’t meant it to be so final, but she knew things would never be the same between them. Not long ago, she’d been terrified of losing Cairn; now she was just as afraid of losing Christian.
Lilien didn’t want to walk down the aisle with things unresolved with Christian. She was worried they might never make up if she did.
After pacing back and forth on the second floor for a while, she quietly entered the study.
Christian was sorting through papers that needed to be handled after the Count’s discharge. He made a point of ignoring her completely.
“Christian, is there anything I can help with?”
No reply. Lilien deflated a little, hesitating awkwardly just inside the door. At that moment, Matilda appeared, set down the tea tray, and gave Lilien a wink on her way out.
You can do it!, her expression seemed to say.
Encouraged, Lilien took a seat on the sofa and spoke softly.
“Christian… I’m sorry.”
Only then did he finally look at her.
“What are you sorry for? You’re an adult now, aren’t you? Wasn’t it your choice?”
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